Wednesday, October 08, 2008
don't we all wish that sometimes our lives would play out in front of us like a tape recorder.we'd be in perfect control of it! replay the moments we treasure so much, pause and stop at places and times which we want to savour over and over again, fast forward the unhappy times so that we see the sunshine after the rain.
well, if only.
this period really seems to be the pits. the future seems so uncertain, and i'm getting fed up with worrying about uni apps and everything, because now the As dont even seem to matter very much anymore when pitted against the COMMON APPLICATION FORMS etc. and i'm beginning to feel this empty hollow sinking feeling everytime i check my email and worry even more.
i just can't wait for all this to be over. when i'm guarenteed a place in some place somewhere in the world, that will chart out my future and remove all these doubts and uncertainties. so FASTFORWARD pretty please.
i think i'm still in a post-prelims mood, which practically screams DISASTER. i know i should be studying, memorizing a gazillion seahist outlines, doing maths prelim papers, reading my lit texts over until i can recite them front to back, but i just have absolutely no drive at all.
i just want all this over and done with soon.
but then again, there's the whole thing about what the future really brings? we keep hoping that everything will get better, but will it truly? i remember expecting so much out of jc, but maybe the colossal vitality of our illusion was just too much for the reality of jc to live up to. (haha gatsby)
so it may be over optimistic, but i sure hope uni turns out better! after all, we all still bear hope for the future, like boats borne back ceaselessly into the past!